sometimes i need to sleep,
and my words will get misspelled,
and my head with get wavy,
and my music will surround me.

i'll get this high that i've never felt,
and it lets me live, momentarily.
it gives me meaning to my life.

the separate reality that is sleep deprivation
that makes me see spots in my vision,
and makes me stumble,
and makes me appreciate the music distracting me
from the problems of my day.

the sleepy texts i send before my eyes close for a few hours,
knowing i'd have to be awake sooner or later.
i find myself taking naps that i call rest
because no one cares enough to see the bags under my eyes.

or how puffy and red they are.
or the scars on my body growing more and more prominent.
or the way my smile seems forced.

no one sees me.
and i think that's okay.