i love you, i hope you know.
i love you to the ends of this earth,
to the stars and into heaven.
but i stopped you.

i stopped you, because of him
because i was remembering his touch,
his hot breath and calloused hands
violating the sacred spaces of my body.

it brought me back to that night,
i had smoked for the first time
and the only time, since.
high and paralyzed, internally
praying for the sun to rise.

he says he's a Christian.
Well God, i hope you're listening.

life gives its strongest soldiers
the harshest twangs of pain,
like experiencing the perils
of *** after abuse.

God, i hope you're listening.