Looking back trying to rekindle my childhood, my memories seem to be scattered;
  Maybe God has erased most them, and left only the ones that mattered.
  Trying to sort through the ones that still remain;
  I find myself saddened and my heart filled with so much pain.
  As a little girl growing up I felt so alone;
  The lifestyle that surrounded me I wish I would have never known.
  I long for the one thing that every child needs and should never have to do with out.;
  The love and the nurturing from my mother I know nothing about.
  The absence of her emotions haunt me day by day;
  Although I'm grown with two children of my own I still long to feel her acceptance and her love this I asked for the Lord to touch her every time I pray.
  She will never know nor even care the way I hurt and  feel inside;
  She will never see The Emptiness for the life that I was deprived.
  Is it that I was so obsessed with her approval and the need for her attention;
  That I myself have neglected the needs of my own children I dare not admit or venture to mention.
  I pray that the Lord grant me the ability to give them the attention and affection that I was never shown.
  I chose some paths I knew better than to choose;
  I made my own mistakes never taking into consideration what it was that I was about to lose;
  Now that I've lost them or regretfully chose to walk away;
  My life has become a living hell needless to say.
  Never did I want my children to grow up in the same environment that I had to;
  I want so much more for them and I will do everything I need to do.
  I have faith that my life with help  from the Lord will turn around and I will have my babies back where they belong.
  Living without them has taught me so much, I  hope one day they can give me forgive me and give me the chance to do what's right for all I have done wrong.