i am 13 years old and in a brand new
yellow two piece swim suit when
your gaze flickers up then down

you are 21 and it is okay because
i “look old enough to be 18”
but my mother doesn’t think so

she snaps at you to “keep your
eyes in your head boy before you
lose ‘em i promise you that”

i am embarrassed for all the wrong
reasons but it doesn’t click
until years later when i realize it

i wanted my mother to keep it down
let him look but don’t let him touch
it’s okay mom it’s flattering to me

but it is not okay
i was not embarrassed because my
mother had every right

i was ashamed from the way his
male gaze swept across my body
as if he were searching for a meal

i was ashamed because i thought
that’s how women got complimented
how girls were suppose to behave

i was ashamed because “am i
not **** enough for him mom
should no man look at me?”

i was ashamed because i
was 13 and it was the first time
i was introduced to sexuality

but now i am not ashamed
i am angry because
i am not the only one