In silence I suffer, drowning.
Losing the fight, falling.
~
On the surface, calm.
To everyone else, happy.
~
Beneath it all, hurting.
They know I'm lying, breaking.
~
I want you to see I'm okay, even if I'm not.
That way things'll be better, even if they're not.
~
Convince myself over and over, even if I don't believe it.
Tell myself everything will work out fine, even if I don't believe it.
~
I'm fine, no I'm not
I'm happy, no I'm not
I'm grateful, no I'm not
~
I don't accept this, yes you do
I hate you for this, no you don't
I don't blame myself**, *yes you do