beautiful eyes, beautiful smile
beautiful heart, beautiful mind
beautiful name, beautiful self

those things i need them the most
those things i need to own them
for myself
and only for me

i’ve never said i love you
i’ve always been saying that i hate you
all because i don’t understand
my heart, my feelings

i pray to god every night
banging on his door
begging him on my knees
“i want to be his friend”

i’ve never heard from him
yet you come to build me up
and then tear me up
just as fast as escape velocity

i kept calm
because i somehow know
that we’ll be fine
i’ll be fine

but then i heard from him
he said with his punch against my stomach
his tight grip around my neck, choking the air out of me

“no, young lady.
you shall suffer more.
i will give you someone
someone you’ve never expected
to step on your bleeding injury.”

GIFT OF GOD,
do you know what i’ve been through?
do you know how it feels to be left behind without knowing the why?
do you know how it feels to see you pretending not to know me?
do you know how it feels to know that someone else has fallen for you?

do you know why on earth i keep on holding you?
embracing every memories that i have about us?
because life back then was simple
until you said your last goodbye.