its so strange to think how different things are from 2 years ago
i know to some that may seem like forever ago
but in the grand scheme of things it really isn't
in my perspective i seem much farther away than it is
on the single fact of things are far different than they used to be
i spoke to people who were absolutely terrible to me
who have treated me like gum stuck to the bottom of their shoe
i was in quite possibly one of the darkest parts of my life so far
i was in such a terribly dark mindset and i didn't think i would ever get out of it
i was also not open with what was going on in my head at all
and then theres the giant thing of i was dating boys

all my old "besties" compared to my best friend now
what was i doing? is the first thing i'm asking myself
they all treated me terribly
i notice through all of them is that they were all about themselves
and they were too loud compared to my personality
everything was about them and i was always the sidekick
my best friend now
we are on an even playing field and are able to be open with each other
we are also able to have the friendship not revolving around one of us specifically

my mental health
it's not that different compared to now in all reality
it's just easier to manage considering i'm more open and know how to manage
being able to be open has been a savior to me
i've been in equally as dark of headspaces since then
i'm just able to manage everything a lot better than i used to

i was dating boys
i wasn't being myself in any shape or form
since then i've come out as a lesbian
i'm much happier within myself and i'm more comfortable with myself as well
its nothing against the boys i dated
i'm just not attracted to males

im much happier with myself and my life at this point in time
i am grateful to have an amazing support system
and so many things that others don't
i am so immensely thankful for everything in my life now
i have made such strides in accepting myself and ridding negative energy
and i always think its helpful to look back on a point in time
and be reminded of how things have changed and how they benefit me
and to also remind me of how thankful i need to be