My Love Who Got Away

My love
Ye who went away
When the scorching summer heat descended
And the freezing winter snow crept in
All, with one accord

When uncertainty struck
Between love and hate
Smiling and frowning
Staying and leaving
Committing and being free
Laughing, but never crying
Between happiness and unhappiness
Between the heat and the chill
All at the same time

Now that's all you showed on the surface
When in your heart of hearts
The honest uncertainty there was to feel
Was between leaving and sailing away
What a caring and loving predicament
It was not that much of a choice life gave you
Now, was it?

You pushed me so hard and urgently, away
You longed to hear the words come from me
That I was leaving and was grateful for everything
So you could be left with a clear conscience
With the pretence I was the one who wanted to leave

Oh don't you think I recognized
How soon you always wanted to get rid of me
When you always handed the on/off switch to me
How often you'd hit me with the classic speech,
"It's not you, it's me"
Then you blatantly said
"If it costs you your peace
Then it's too expensive"
But I was all yours you didn't have to buy
And I was the cheapest you would find on the land
That's why, maybe, you pushed me out
Who wants cheap stuff these days anyway?

But your love is your love,
You choose who you want to seize it away from
And who you can't wait to give it to next
We called it quits, it was a win for you
Apparently I was the stubborn cloud
That laid between you and your sunshine

And it's not I was too proud to beg
The whole ordeal left me unsure if I'd be heard
Unsure that if I came around once more
You wouldn't throw me to shame
Still we couldn't make it through thick
Oh ye, my beloved
Ye who went away

Mongi C. Nkabindze