i fall in love with every sunset. i fall in love with hidden restaurants that have lights stringing along the ceiling. i fell in love with the way i healed my own heart after he left. i fell in love with each time i broke my own heart only to grow stronger. i fell in love with the way he sat next to me by the river. i fell in love with the way he knew how much i loved to be kissed, and then i fell in love with how much he took advantage of it when he was drunk. i fell in love with the way he sat at the kitchen table all night with me until we fixed the problem. i fell in love with the way he asked me if i liked the new shirt his mom bought him. i fell in love with the way he asked me to read his grocery lists. i fell out of love when his jealous mind raged wars on me for months at a time. i fell out of love when i heard him talking about the other girls. i fell out of love when i decided to love someone new. i did not love how sometimes i can still feel his hands on my waist and his lips on my shoulders. i did not love how much i would think about him day and night. i did not love the fact that there is no explanation for the way i feel about him. there is no reason i want to chase what doesn't want me, only to leave behind what would give me the world. i fell in love with the way the cigarette burns lined up on his skin and then never looked back.