Oh Christmas comes but once a year Waistlines swell with good food and beer Mince pies, chocolates, nibbles and nuts Watch vintage TV, with no 'ifs' and no 'buts'
Wrapping paper deal, 2 rolls for a pound Sneaky wrapping later, shhh, don't make a sound Christmas tree needed you know what to do Get a last minute deal down at Rhyl B & Q
Got the presents sorted, a job that so hard That sinking feeling from a last minute card A phone call and text is never too much A welcome long chat just to keep in touch
Christmas day approaching are all the jobs done? Eat drink and be merry is the way it should run But often a snooze can be the best part That can end with a grunt, a snore or a ****.
Turkey all gone but there are sandwiches still Three helpings of trifle can make you quite ill Then cheese and fine biscuits with coffee and cake Might slow you right down on the After Eights
So off to the sofa where you sit if you dare Waistbands all loosened on the reclining chair A tea or a beer shows who's still in the race While a quick 40 winks puts a smile on your face
Well there it was done and soon off to bed You sleep like a log having been so well fed In the night you are gasping you must have a drink You make it to the bathroom and drink from the sink
The next day is hellish, there are wrappers gallore With crisps, cheese and crackers ground into the floor Red wine in glasses fermenting and mulled You turn and retreat with your senses quite dulled
So no breakfast needed just a whole lot of quiet After indulging on what was a plain liquid diet A quick clean around is a job for us males As your partner heads out for the Boxing day sales!