I cheated on her

I lay over the bed of mistakes
clothes all around and a naked body rubbing onto me,
my heart beats and I think of her
my love
my senses stop,
I forget to breathe
I question my existence

Why was I laying here with a woman I have never seen rather than with my love?
Memories flash;
I wave her goodbye promising to come home soon
she knows home is so far from the place I am going to.
Her eyes radiate pain, yet she smiles with agony, because of her undying love for me.

I rush to the bar,
football commentary fills up the noisy atmosphere
I chug one drink over another,
my love appears again and again to me, like an oasis
I want to run away, not make her seem like this.
Frustrated, tired
I look for someone/something focus upon,
blonde all pumped up woman meets my eye
she is eyeing me towards the upper room,
I shouldn’t, I mustn’t
I chug few more drinks
and think of all the time I was all alone,
how good life was,
she comes near me
how the girl waiting for me did.
She takes me to the upper room,
I leave all my morals and follow
the door closes...

I scream I cry
8 years of relationship
she was always there for me
she left her everything for me
and this is what I did in return
to sleep with an unknown woman
while she prays to the almighty
for my happiness
when in few hours
I took all of hers,
my love what have I done.

I will hide this,
it can be a nightmare which never happened
she never has to know
the devil inside me gave advice
the same devil because of whom
I cheated on her
the naked woman wakes up
dresses up and leaves
to her, I was just a one night stand
but to me, she was my eternal mistake.
I sit there,
thinking of all the memories I shared with love my life
how she was at my worst, my best.
I know she would forgive me,
if I tell her all of this.
She would be broken, the woman who held all my pieces together
I can't let this happen
I swallow the guilt
and look out the window
15th floor,
I am about to leap, so my death keeps her alive

my phone rings,
her face glow
her voice echoes#Cheating #sad #sapy
my heart wrenches in pain
I am sorry, I say repeatedly
and she realises what I have done
yet she consoles me,
throwing away all her hurt
and that's when I realised
She was the angel I never deserved