Hi, my name is Chase and I live within your life. All I am is just a lie. I'll never sacrifice. Suicide is king and I'm the ******* queen. Don't wanna be a girl. Do you know what I mean?
I never tell the truth. No, my fears get in the way. It's happened once before, but I guess I'll never change. Scars will start to cover me. Legs onto my wrist. Punching holes into your soul. Make contact with your fist.
I am just so used to it, but god I want to stop. But boy if I told you the truth I'd lose you on the spot. Sometimes I just wanna die. Drown in my blood and tears. I say that I fear nothing, but you are my only fear.
So, down I will go spiraling. I'll just keep on conspiring. I will never tell the truth. There is just too much to lose.
Trapped in lies. Trapped in lies. I'm trapped inside. Throw the truth aside. Trapped in lies. I'll always hide.
Cut myself wide open. Try to let it out. But the moment that I see you my head it fills with doubt. It could never work. I just cannot be me. I'm sorry to say boy you aren't the golden key.
You're not the key to happiness for I do not believe. But still I have to smile. Make me fall down to my knees. I smile on the outside, but trapped inside I cry. I look like I live life, but my one hope is to die.
Trapped in lies. Trapped in lies. I'm trapped inside. Throw the truth aside. Trapped in lies. I'll always hide.
You look at me with love. I look at you with sorrow. This lie will never end. It still goes on tomorrow. It's a never ending nightmare. I wish it were a dream. Sick of my life cheating. Falling apart at the seams.
I wish I'd never started. Now, it's too late to go back. The past is not the present, but my future looks too black.
I know you want to make this work, but take a look at me. Everything you see isn't what it seems to be. I am just a lie. I am living through your life. So, baby please just end it. Yes, end my lies tonight.
Trapped in lies. Trapped in lies. I'm trapped inside. Throw the truth aside. Trapped in lies. I'll always hide.
I am just so tired. I want to stop the act. Don't know why I started. All I know is I lost track. I lost track of the time and all the memories. I don't even know who the **** I'm supposed to be.
Got caught up in my lies. Don't know how to let go. Hardly even anybody really even knows. I hardly know myself. Now, isn't that sad? Cuz I hardly know you and it's driving me mad.
And the anger inside turns me into a beast. Pulls me inside. Now, I'm a killing machine. This is the side of me I never let show. But is it the real me? He ******* hopes so.
I guess I'll just keep lying to you and to myself. I guess I'll tell my lies to everybody else. Maybe one day I'll find the guts to change. But for now I'll keep lying. Keep you out of my range.
Trapped in lies. Trapped in lies. I'm trapped inside. Throw the truth aside. Trapped in lies. I'll always hide.
This poem was made before I came out as a Trans Man. I tried so hard to be a normal women. But it just wasn't me.