you haven’t even realized you like like boys yet. you haven’t realized that all of those gay jokes are about you so they don’t hurt your feelings, yet. you haven’t seen what it’s like to be labeled as something, and also that the same label happens to be what everyone will know you as. you didn’t realize that accepting yourself a lot sooner would’ve saved you a lot of memories you’d prefer to forget.
dear me in the 11th grade-
you’ve realized that after dating so many girls, something just wasn’t really right. you couldn’t pin-point it so you just ignored it. maybe you thought love just wasn’t for you. it wasn’t until that car ride with dad that you understood why everything was so confusing. “be honest with me kid, are you gay?” “oh ****...” it was something that hadn’t even crossed my mind.
dear me in my 3rd year of college-
you’re definitely gay. you’re challenged by the fact that you can’t hold your boyfriends hand in public the same way that your sisters and their boyfriends can. you hate that dating through apps like grindr and tinder seem to be the best way to find “love”. however, you love the fact that you now know exactly who you are, and you are unapologetic.