The blessings in my life
are overwhelming
when I really think about them,
but for some reason
each morning
feels heavier than the one before.

Why can't I just be happy?

My heart wanders
away with this thought
until the relentless waves
of pain and heavy sadness
carry it back to its place.

I cry -
not because I am lacking anything,
but because I cannot count
all of my lucky stars
(for they are far too numerous),
and yet,
I am still not happy.