Forty Russian women
Ask me every day
They beg me to friend them
On Facebook, so hey,
How come I spend
So much time all alone?
None of these Russian babes
Ever show up in my home.

They seem to be hot for me
And say such naughty things.
I have always thought that I
Wouldn't need to be a king
Or a rockstar for me to get
The attention of such chicks.
Who, me? Not even on a bet!

Yes, I friended several of these
goddesses from the steppes;
They all demanded promises
Of some very hefty tips.
While I am not a movie star
I don't look all that bad
That I have to pay for ***.
That would just be sad.

In truth I was foolishly hoping
That one of these ladies did
Want to meet someone like me
And  wondered where I was hid.
A recent Miss Moscow runner-up
That Trump had not over abused.
And here I sit with a lonely heart
Just waiting to get itself used.

So, like the fool at slot machines
I kept thinking the next would pay
And kept on reading those requests
And believing them every day.
I know there must be lovely girl
Who is looking for someone like me.
Im even studying Russian now, so
How much more perfect can I be?