Love has always been an intoxicating idea. I recognize that I find corrosive people to satisfy my temporary state of mind. When midnight comes calling and I'm all alone I seek out relationships to keep me high. I seek love but find a cheep substitute drug in the form of infatuation and lust. Most times I can't tell when it's the substitute and when it's the real thing so I simply try and never take the plunge in the first place never take the first hit. I keep everyone at arms distance because I'll never be addicted to the fake thing if I never take a hit. consequently I'll never get that real high and so I die with my extroverted mind driving me insane as I look for connection but can't let anyone in.