I am avoiding the memories.
Taking every ounce of heart I had and pouring it back into its jar,
storing it in the freezer,
letting the ice form over the fibers and watch the I love’s and I promise’s until they because never again’s and caution tape.

My stomach is empty.
Let the regrets simmer at the bottom,
I will feed them bourbon through a tube,
because heartbreak has left my lips gaped open, dried out from screaming.

Lay me on the concrete, let the heat bake me into the footsteps of every hand that held me, allow their feet to press me into the floor.

Take the telephone wires and string me along their lines, I want to hear every I told you so.

Call me in the middle of the night, high and forgetful of everything we said,
tell me that I am forever a handprint on your chest, a kiss on your lips,
and I will ask whose prints have covered mine, who has wiped my lips from yours.

I can take honesty like a bullet through my heart. I can take truth through a ***** needle, but never assume I could attempt to survive knowing I was an accessory to your assumption that I was merely a smoke break.

Something to come back to in the middle of the night, but can be put out until it’s needed again, when you need to feel something.

After the last,
I remember vowing I would never fall first before knowing where I’d land.

Funny thing, everyone told me where I would land. but I laughed and said no, this one is different.
I’m back in my bottles, forgetting what it is like to laugh sober and smile clean.
and they’re incessant song,
I told you so
I told you so.

Well, so did you,
told me I would make it,
I can trust a ***** needle and let my already beaten heart take a few more hits.

You can spread a pair of legs like a gate,
trap lips like you’re catching a meal,
and destroy hearts like a smoke break,

not too often,
but it’s intoxicating everytime.