last. words.

You want to give me the speech
you want to act like I haven't heard it before
assume you've existed purely for this moment

that death
dying
don't
refer to me
first

my own worst enemy
these words trail
down the stairs
morph a train
behind ankles
as the morning coffee begins to percolate
they don't just sing me to sleep
they roll over just as Im starting to slip into a dreamless night
and bite the end of my ear
nibble away
licking my neck until
I pulse only for them
how each moment
each passing breath
I cannot forget
when the time ran out
for each fragile discipline of atoms, molecules
I loved so tenderly

as they slowly exited my life
as I severed them from my cerebral cortex to protect myself
as they jumped from the tallest bridge in Portland
shoved the needle deeper into their skin

left me to remember them
left me to forget them
left me to watch as each leaf falls to the ground
wave crashes around my knees

grief
will sing me to sleep
I'm
my
own
worst
enemy.