Jolted awake in the hours between too late and too early
Again
Breathing a heavy sigh at the ever placid night
Again
Wondering when my body will grow tired of its self-destruction
because I do not know how much longer I can survive on will alone

I find myself restless in the glowing hours of the morning
Again
The familiar panic has interrupted my slumber
Again
Darkness still lingers, but the sun’s flame will take over soon
and with it will come the burden of light and expectation

Sleeping through the night would be a red flag; I would lose my footing
Again
Don’t get me wrong- I’d love sleep to happen, but I can’t count on it ever
Again
The nightmares hold me captive, but at least they are familiar
in the sense that I can expect them to visit

I hold on to the hope that one day
I might rest without terror,
but I cannot make it a dream;
there is no room for anything but the monster
Maybe one day I will sleep through the night
Again