And I have to change

Nobody understands me
They don't get it
They don't try to
It's just all
Or
It's nothing

I give so much
And get so little
When I back off
They back off more
When I go forward
They step backward

I feel like I should quit
Maybe I should give up
Stop trying
Become who I was

Quiet
Embarrassed
Careful
Shy

Didn't say hello
Didn't speak her mind
Just let everyone else
Dictate my every thought
But that's not who I am

I've changed
                                        
                                               They've changed

They should understand
I'm a new girl

It should be better
Not worse

I should be respected
Not ridiculed

So then what's happening
What left me like this

So alone
So afraid

That every time I try to sleep
I end up crying
I end up hurt
And they don't bat an eye
Because I changed

I'm harsh
I'm different

If I tried I'd be better
I could be

Quiet
Careful
Shy
Embarrassed

And maybe they would notice
That the strongest
Are the weakest
But they don't

So by playing the weakest
I am the strongest
I am stronger than they know
Stronger than they will ever be
Stronger than they think I am

But
I'm not
I'm not strong
I'm weak
I cry at five am
To forget everything they've done

I scream when I'm alone
To try and get back
Hoping that

Maybe

Hopefully

They will understand
They will hear me

Scream
And
Cry

And they will understand
That I've changed