The dark oaks’ gentle rhythm caresses the faltering twilight and a dim sadness creeps into the receding day - a pendulous cloud upon me lay.
In the hotel room a hazy hint of doom my limbs are weary my mind made bleary by the thickness of the day.
Mind you, this is but one moment in a journey, but the glories of last week are swiftly fading the darkness, a stealthy force invading. I even wonder if death might actually relieve or even lift this aging me.
In my early sleep images gently pass before me.
The greenness of Oregon, its forests of fir sublime snow-capped mountains to climb beaches and surf flung from the Pacific’s awesome depths. Images and memories of this emerald State, and its coastal cottages breach my fatigue and float me into comfort and the peace of deep blessed sleep.
I awaken from these restful wanderings wondering about the passages of this journey.
Yes, we traveled the outside: through babbling bubbling Portland up and down Eugene’s hills Salem’s capitol, shops, bars and grills we drank craft beers, ate fish and chips, spoke of the coming solar eclipse storied ourselves to the sea saw gulls and kids play in sandy glee. All of these you could see, snap and post. But the hidden passages strike me most.
As this journey ends I reflect, I feel, I soar through the opened doors and windows - I see inside what we’ve tried to deflect or hide.
Behind my tears she saw the pain and gain heard my weakness when I’m drained saw the joy in my little boy finding gifts and a big man’s toy.
I watched her speaking with her hands walking gently as if to caress the sands not sparing self-critical comparing telling stories of movies and hikes and trips across America on bikes I saw her in her sparkle-eyed girl heard a woman who been IN but not OF the world.
Maybe leaving this body behind is not so horrible and baleful not so very unimaginable as when I was young for now there are fewer songs unsung.
As I began this ballad I was down and pallid. And it’s true - the surprises of my life are no longer popping or rife with excitement and the new of audition, graduation and debut. Instead, now I’m alive and wild with journeys of faith and love hearts made of gold and serene searches of soul.
I wrote and posted here earlier my first try at this poem entitled "Oregon Journey." I posted it before taking time to really read and let it settle in me. After reading it yesterday, I decidedly disliked it. Therefore today in two or three sittings I rewrote it. I feel a whole lot better about this one which I gave a different name..