One feels different after a fall from grace.
I say "fall", but I know
that I peered over the cliffside
knowing what I was to leave behind
and took the deadly plunge.

The haze of temptation cleared
I felt nothing
Knew everything
Wanted more
God, why have I abandoned You?
Why do I know so much
yet feel so little
when I know where You are?

I'm falling
I'm failing
I'm thirsty

"I thirst for you."

Even in the depths I hear You
Even in the darkness I see You
You who defeated Death for me
You who could not bear to be apart from me
You who are still on the cross
until the end of time.

"I thirst for you."

I thirst for You.
I've reached for filler after filler
Only leaving myself empty
Rendering new cracks in the already broken vessel that I am
Yet You who suffered wounds for me
still desire my heart.
Why do You want this broken sparrow?
Why do You want this sickly fawn?
Why is my love-
broken and imperfect
-the very thing You crave?

"I thirst for you."

Drink, then, from my tears
of repentance
of regret
for they are all I can offer
as I continue to fall.
Drink from this broken vessel
from whom graces seep out
for I have marred my soul
and have broken Your Heart.

Drink from my sin
and my shame
and repair what I have broken
Help me, for I am alone
and have no one but You
Even though I've abandoned You
You are all I crave
You are all I need
And I thirst for You.