We often fight because I am such a pessimistic person. You see, I am someone who can't see a single gem in me. I wonder how you managed to have feelings for me. Yet you're still there beside me; and I like it.

I never liked the idea of you taking pictures of me. When I sometimes check your phone to delete some candid photos you took a while ago, I would accidentally check you private messages out of curiosity. Hoping I would find something funny, something that'll shock me, or an assurance that  maybe some other girls are trying to lead on to you. I never doubted you. You told me thousands of times that you will never look at someone the same way you look at me but who knows? Even sometime, the rain falls on deserts.

I am still afraid of you spending time with other girls, not because I don't want you to have girl friends or so but I am afraid that you might find them attractive. When I knew that you had this sort of connection to this girl, I was in complete dismay to myself spending the next three weeks crying before I go to sleep, asking why didn't you go for her and why me? I don't know what's worse, my swollen eyes by the time I wake up or the day you realize you deserve much more than me.

I never wanted to meet your friends, not because I don't like them. In all honesty, they're really nice and fun to be with but I know by the time they see me, will also the time they'll ask you if you regret loving me. I am not like your past girlfriends who're petite and beautiful inside and out. I am no beautiful nor an amazing person. I never looked myself as a beautiful person, I never will. However every single day you never fail to tell me that I am. Honestly I still don't know if you really mean that or you're just complimenting me because I am your girlfriend.


I would prefer staying indoors than to walk along the pavements of a local park or have my time spent in the mall, window shopping with you. Don't get me wrong I want to at least have our dates or maybe just to be with you just like that but you have to understand me that I don't like it when people stare at us. Strangers giving you that same certain look, telling you "why are you with that type of girl?" Your delicate hands are intertwined with something unpleasant, a tight rope perhaps. I am no bouquet of flowers. I am a parade of not well made paper hearts.

We often fight because I am such a pessimistic person. You see, I am someone who can't see a single gem in me. I would often suggest that you should leave me for good and yet you're still there beside me; and I like it.