"i love you" is hollowing
three words aren't enough for me
(they were until my brain ate them whole. now they echo inside my ears, bounce around until my head has had its fill)
tell me i'm better than the others
tell me you haven't come close to loving another soul the way you love mine
tell me that you weren't functioning
that you were a clock without hands
time flew by in the wrong direction and the numbers on your face were a dead language
until we fell together
and then you started counting in real time and loving every tick of every second

i want you to be aggressive
brand your love into the side of my skull
scar it into my collarbones
make my illness remember

i want you to carve my name into your ******* heart
i want you to grab ahold of my lungs and breathe your love into them
make sure it's the only thing i know
send it flooding through my bloodstream
i need my illness to remember

when i'm like this,
don't tell me you ******* love me
your skin is made of cellophane
i can show you exactly where the lie is coming from
my own head can't take care of me,
how could you?
tell me you'd cut off your hands if they couldn't hold mine
tell me you'd wiggle your way into my ribcage if you could
just so you could be closer to the beat of my heart
tell me you love me and make my illness believe it