I used to dream of success,
of finding hope in the darkest abyss,
of being loved in a hateful world,
of seeking truth in this messed up world,
of making peace in a chaotic ensemble.

Now?
I dream of escaping reality,
of ending my life sooner or later.
I dream of a day when I don't cry myself to sleep,
a day when I'll feel as happy as before.
I dream of a time when I won't worry about being replaced,
a time when I won't just be the second option.
I dream of  people who would not hurt me,
of people who  do not carelessly throw words around not minding their actions.


Now I dream of a different life, one unlike mine, one where I do not feel used, forgotten, unloved, or broken.