i know that in this big, bad world
the only person who can save us
from us
is ourselves.

but wouldn't it be nice to have
a knight in shining armor
rescuing you from
drinking that entire bottle of liquid fire

wouldn't it be nice to have
a crusader coming to you
preventing you from
swallowing that towering pile of pills

wouldn't it be nice to have
a warm sunshiney, kiss
telling you everything
will be o k a y
before snorting that last line

in the end
the destruction of ourselves
only comes from
ourselves.

but my, oh my
wouldn't it be nice
to have a hero
other than yourself.