Love has never hurt me. As negative and as pessimistic as I can be, I love love. Nothing negative has ever come from being so wholly connected to another person.

Love is indescribable. If it means anything, I still think of Annie every day. Every time I look up at the stars I see her pale skin and her York peppermint patty eyes. I miss her everyday. And I think about what she's doing over in San Diego and if she has enough to eat and if she's safe and if people treat her right. And I want to follow her, but I choose not to because I love her enough to let her go. I know she wouldn't have me now, and I won't force it. But I love her and I want her to be okay. And if she comes to me one day, I will be happy, and if she doesn't, I will still be happy to have loved her and been with her.

I dream with her. About her. And I sing songs about what it was like to be blessed by her. I remember the smell of her hair and how soft her cheeks were when I touched them. I remember holding her in my arms as we looking at children's puzzle books and solving them together. Laughing and smiling so innocently. I'm smiling now, even knowing I almost ended my life days ago. Even knowing I may never see or speak to Annie Wright again. I loved her and that was pure and is pure.