The funny thing about crying yourself to sleep
Is waking up confused
Because you don't recognize
The reality of your parents room,
From the delusion of your nightmare.

And the funny thing about lying awake at night,
Blasting music as loud as you can,
And trying to make your breathing
Inaudible
But each breath is
More strained than the last,
Is when you think back with a
"I never thought this is how my life would turn out."

And the funny thing about recalling
Making lunch in the kitchen,
And suddenly choking back
Strangled sobs
After realizing I love you.
And my mom rushing into the kitchen,
Asking me what's wrong,
And I cried so hard
Because I was so scared
To love you.
Is that it wasn't about you,
It was about the fear that you could
Now have the power
To take all my vulnerable parts
And leave without giving them back to me.

And the funny thing about
While blotting at my eyes,
That every part of me
Is wholly and entirely yours,
And upon that I also found,
Is that maybe no part of me
Was ever mine and mine alone.

But the funny thing is, you have proven
Time and time again
Within all my efforts
Amidst anxiety and panic
To subconsciously push you away,
That you're here,
Truly here,
To stay.

The funny thing about crying,
Is that it's not always about the tears,
And the incoherent hiccups
Aren't always about pain.

The funny thing about being this emotional,
Is that you love with all you are,
And when someone finally loves you back
The same way,
It's like seeing the face of God,
As Victor Hugo once said.

The funny thing about forgiveness,
Is that it doesn't always have to come from the
Person you've done wrong.
The funny thing about love
Is that it feels a lot like forgiveness
And the grace of light.

The funny thing about life,
Is that it never turns out how you thought it would,
And that's good.

The funny thing is
I really think
I like how
My life is turning
Out.