is it love?
or just a petty crush?
will you still matter in 2 years?

I don't know but
I've had a lot of crushes
but you were different

is it because you're a girl?
because I used to hate you
or were you my first love?

I still want to write about you
I still think about you
I still hope I can see you again

will I write a book about you?
will I think about you in college?
will I still dream about you when I'm old?

but of course you're the reason why I joined a poetry site
under a pseudonym
to write anonymous poems

will I look back at this?
will I think "it was just a crush"?
will I still look at the sun and think of you?

all these questions
all these contradictions
they'll never be put to rest