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Jun 2023 · 758
regression
Buddy T Jun 2023
roaring beast. steam obsolete. i wish my hands. to see them fall apart. crackling dry. the crust in my eyes. moon oh please, let me be free, from this ******* heat 80 degrees. i thought i had grown, but it’s just the moss on the stone. my heart no longer beats with the rain. i just stay inside all day.

i look
her
in
the eyes
i see
no
reflection
i miss
the girl
i
used
to be

and if this is adult life
it would’ve been better to die
at seventeen
i yearn for the person i once was, as if she was better
Feb 2023 · 2.3k
Westward
Buddy T Feb 2023
i wish it was night a little longer
i want to moon to hold me a little more fonder
hop in my car and grab my keys
as we ride away from the east
running away from the rising sun
but our push back will soon be undone
a blazing fire soon forthcoming
hold me tight so i forget my ears are drumming
the world around us is set ablaze
stuck together in this sweltering maze
finally we have reached total apocalypse
but before we go, ******* a kiss
running away from... something?
Nov 2020 · 655
100° fever - August
Buddy T Nov 2020
you’re every melody and every song
you’re the pounding in my head all night long
pounding, pounding all night long
bleary eyes and heavy cheeks
you’re the sore in my bones that make them meek
and every other week
another year come and gone, so long

the ringing in my ears
the salt in my tears,
tongue long against my face
catching them before they slip away
another race
down the roadway
to your doorframe
come 2nd place
but who’s to say
i kiss you anyway
2020 is almost over
Aug 2020 · 285
Untitled document
Buddy T Aug 2020
I leave this work untitled
Like every book on the wall
Like the wall, I hold these works on me
No names, no faces
I look into the mirror
I see no face, no name, no title
Just a book, an unfinished piece of work
No work on this wall is complete
And thus, deserves no name
The untitled works, the poems and novellas
The epics, the short stories, the sagas and chronicles
All unfinished, all untitled

It’s hard to find a piece of writing
When the covers are all the same
All white, all blank, nameless
If I set fire to this room
It would be like nothing had been destroyed at all
They sit on their wall; waiting
I lay on my bed; waiting
Waiting
We are waiting
Aug 2020 · 664
palm-sized heaven
Buddy T Aug 2020
counting stars like the ticks of seconds on the clock
dare i hold her hand a little tighter
i do believe her hand holy
blessing a sinner like me
artemis stares, i blink
and if i believed in god
i would’ve thought she was standing there in front of me
Jan 2019 · 460
The ghost in my house
Buddy T Jan 2019
There was a ghost in my house
It walked through my hallways at night
And swirled green around my ceiling fan
I could feel it in my home
I could feel it next to my bed

There was a ghost in my house
It haunted me for 13 years
I thought I’d always feel
That not-alone dreadful fear
For another few years

There was a ghost in my house
That made me sweat
Who whispered in my ear
And shook me from my bed
And only the bathroom was where i could escape

There was a ghost in my house
Maybe more than one
Maybe more than two
It made my friends cry
It made me scream for so long

There is not a ghost in my house
Is it no longer there?
Did it pass on to heaven?
Did I scare it away?
Did I grow too old to feel it here?

There is not a ghost in my house
Where did it go
I miss it quite a lot
For the ghost in my house
Made me feel thing I usually did not

I wish the ghost in my house did not go away
I wish I still felt what I did on those past days
These days I feel like
I’m the ghost in my house
Drifting away, thought after thought
There is no longer a ghost in my house
Oct 2018 · 281
morning dread
Buddy T Oct 2018
well that can’t be good
now that i’ve started
to dream about her
Don’t Worry She’s A New One
Mar 2018 · 368
Your Gifts
Buddy T Mar 2018
these little things are so precious to me
i want to lock them in a box where no one else can see
but i have no box as you can see

i’m gay but i’m no sinner
but i’m no saint either
i just happen to love your face
but i guess that was almost a year ago
Feb 2018 · 330
between heaven and earth
Buddy T Feb 2018
have you been to the midway point between heaven and earth
better than hell better than earth
perhaps even better than heaven it’s self

do they judge in hell?
do they judge on earth?
do they judge in heaven?

but no one judges
in the midway point of heaven and earth

earth is closer to hell than heaven
so to be neutral is to be
in the midway point between heaven and earth
Nov 2017 · 336
Goodbye Dear Friend
Buddy T Nov 2017
Seasons change
People move
That doesn’t mean I won’t miss Summer
That doesn’t mean I won’t miss you
I’m glad I met you
to a close friend of mine who is moving away soon
May 2017 · 843
Forever
Buddy T May 2017
How long is forever?

It's longer than you
Longer than me
After my heart stops beating

Longer than love
Longer than hate
After my feeling for you have fade
And I can't remember your name

Longer than my bones
And my veins
And the compacity of my soul
On end to end

Far longer than the earth
After the sun has got to rest
And longer than when the red glow
Is all that is left

And when the universe shrivels to dust
And if it begins again
Or if it grows with nothing but darkness
Forever is longer than any of those put together

How long is forever?
I don't know
Maybe it really is
When our hearts take the final beat
can you tell me how long is forever
Apr 2017 · 846
Would You?
Buddy T Apr 2017
and just as fate should have it
we can never be
just meeting on a road we walked
side by side for so long
for it to divert
all too soon

the first mile
the second and the third
I miss seeing you by my side
we really had to say goodbye
all too soon
but it's not like
you would care
do you?
would you?
if I asked?

and I will
never see you again
probably
after a while;
will I forget?

will you let me
hold your hand for
the first time
and the last

and how would you respond
if I told you
that I loved you
would you
have anything to say?
anything at all?
Apr 2017 · 417
drempt lyrics
Buddy T Apr 2017
sometimes in my spare time
I
sing
made up songs

the lyrics never constant
pretty
tunes
in my head

but like fate should have it
they
never
stay for long

for once I'm done singing
they
fade
away like dreams
Apr 2017 · 394
Dear Spring,
Buddy T Apr 2017
my life has been the same
up till now
for 7 years

same world
same place
same friends

but you came into my life
or I came into you life
or both

and for the next 4 months
I changed
because of you and her and her

but 4 months come and go
and you come and go
but my heart still races

it's been a year
I've changed
I've grown

but, inside
i still think about you
do you think about me

a new life
with new friends
same old same old
Apr 2017 · 3.2k
Never Be You
Buddy T Apr 2017
Every day I wake up
And I'm disgusted with myself
But never with you you you

I was never the best
At running
Or jumping
Or finishing work
Unlike you you you

And everyday i hope and dream
But i know

I could never be you
Never be you
Never be you you you

Never be you
Never be you

And maybe one day ill wake up and
I'll be better than myself
Better than her
Better than him
Better than you

Better than you
Better than you
I'll be better than you you you

Could i be you
Could i be you
Could i be you you you

And maybe one day
I'll wake up
And know
Exactly why
You love me

But maybe
Only you could do that
Could i ever be you

Ever be you
Ever be you
Ever be you you you

No

Never be you
Never be you
I could never be you you you

Never be you
song lyrics
Mar 2017 · 652
do you hate me?
Buddy T Mar 2017
do you hate me?
if not answer no
if so answer no

do you love me?
if so answer yes
if not answer yes
Mar 2017 · 700
love confession untold
Buddy T Mar 2017
I trust her
I trusted her
I'm trying to

but I still wonder
from time to time
did she ever tell you?
Mar 2017 · 576
Beat by the Second
Buddy T Mar 2017
bu-dump bu-dump**
my heart beats
slow and constant
never stopping
never skipping
the same rate

bu-dump bu-dump
on my chest
I hold my hand
the feeling lulls me to sleep
it's my music
my reassurance

bu-dump bu-dump
I know I'm alive
I know I'm beating
I can feel it through me
I count the time why my beats
my heart beats
Buddy T Mar 2017
it's been dark for a while
trapped in my thoughts
can't sleep
is it me
is it her
does she hate me
does she even care

the sun set a while ago
I love sunsets
but I hate the night
is that weird?
I don't hate you
do you hate me?

I haven't seen you for a while
or heard from you
but I know you're alive
I think
I wish you'd respond to my texts

I miss the day
I miss early summer
late spring
days before school ended
last year
when id see you
everyday
and we were closer than ever

I miss the sun
I hate all this rain
I hate all this shade
at least summer is coming
from drought to drowning

it's been almost a year
since we've been to Japan
since we saw gold
since i met you for real

California the best
only thinking of south
I'm north
same old same old
almost like Oregon
almost like Arizona
never like Kansas

they're Oregon
they're Arizona
she's Kansas
we're California
I'm north
you're south

on the ever changing state
an ever changing state
with ever changing weather
whether you like it
like the people
like you
like me

oh,
the sun's up
you never think about nothern california
Mar 2017 · 545
You wouldn't know
Buddy T Mar 2017
'It's red' I say, you nod
You asked a bit ago
You go on and tell them
'The rose is red' you say

Oh! But you wouldn't know
I lied, the rose is blue
Humans trust so blindly
Believing what they hear

Why something so simple
But it's big all the same
Yes, the rose is blue but,
You wouldn't know would you?
yes the poem is in reference to my profile picture
Mar 2017 · 338
till the end
Buddy T Mar 2017
with a bang
you begin
faster and faster
growing faster than we can comprehend
how can that be
nothing into everything
a marble to infinity

let me stay
no let me leave
I want to know
but the dark will only grow
the more I can see

we can't leave
this small patch
it seems internal almost
almost is never always

long after he has past
she will fade
they will reign
nothing but darkness

he'll eat till he eats himself
and dark will reign
a cold world
at the end
always is never almost

can we live
till
the
end
Mar 2017 · 1.6k
the cloud and the sun
Buddy T Mar 2017
what a pretty sky
on a pretty day
not a cloud in the sky  
the sun beams down

a single cloud
on a pretty day
alone
the sun beams down

perhaps I am the cloud
alone by myself
never surrounded by peers
a spot of paint

perhaps you are the sun
with me
pulling me up
hugging me

the universe turns
with you
orbiting a centerpiece
we can't name

a lone cloud
on a pretty day
no other in the sky
the sun beams down

another cloud apears
no more loners
in the sky
the sun beams down

perhaps you are the sun
and I am the cloud
how do you feel
I am not with you

the universe turns
you tear me apart
we grow big
you grow dark

rain in the sky
on a windy day
so many cloud in the sky
no sun beams

perhaps I am the clouds
and you are the sun
I move on
you continue to turn

a pretty sky
on a pretty day
no cloud in the sky
the sun beams down

the sun beams on
the universe turns
the sun beams on
the sun beams
it was a pretty day today
Feb 2017 · 288
Falling Seasons
Buddy T Feb 2017
Wind like a lion's roar
My ice heart beats
Toxic tears fall over the things you have done
Spring my never come

The earth will turn like a dog and their tail
As the sun comes up we will forgive
Let the ice melt on our hearts
Like trees in the spring, we can begin again

Let us sleep forever in this clouded illusion
Forgiveness like yellow on a computer screen
The dog days of our lives
We can't say in this haze forever

Time falls as leaves on a tree
I try to hold on like the earth does to the moon
But all fires must turn black
Please change this endless ocean
'like yellow on a computer screen' computer screens are only made up out of 3 colors, red, blue, and green, so theres no actual yellow on a computer screen.

'I try to hold on like the earth does to the moon' each year the moon gets 3.8 cm farther away from the earth and could eventually leave orbit
Feb 2017 · 535
To
Buddy T Feb 2017
To
to love
to be hated
to hate
to be loved

these 4 things
is what
makes us human
isn't it?
Feb 2017 · 464
blue
Buddy T Feb 2017
for me,
everything is blue
my hair
my clothes
my shoes
my skies
my tears
my dreams
my heart

but she's pink
my feelings are pink
Jan 2017 · 448
temporary salvation
Buddy T Jan 2017
take one step forward
breath in
open your eyes
please

the world will grow
without you
if you sleep
forever

face this with me
hold me
cry with me
now

it will not end
not today
and not tomorrow
wait

so please wake up
look up
get through this
together
if you don't open your eyes and grow up the world will evolve with out you
Dec 2016 · 365
go on ahead but...
Buddy T Dec 2016
I wont hold you back
please go on ahead,
but if you may, please
remember my love.

I'm so afraid
I'll never catch you
why, your presence
it surrounds me.

How your light dazzles
there's so much to know
I want to know you
everything, please.

Alas, I cannot,
mysterious soul,
I am but a speck
a face in the crowd.

Everything I do
revolves around you,
why do I love you
let this moment last.
to big to comprehend
Dec 2016 · 2.4k
don't let me go
Buddy T Dec 2016
please hold me closer
before you let go
let me in your world

so far away
but i can reach up and grab you
paper that can crumble

let me inside your world
only for a few days
a few minutes

a second goes by
you take me
i'm gone

please
if you will
let me do it again
could I stay a bit longer
Dec 2016 · 490
Untitled
Buddy T Dec 2016
3000 BCE
the only world to exist is the one you live in

100 BCE
greater than we thought but so small

600 CE
the world is still so small we hate this box and the people here

1500 CE
the world is bigger than we could ever imagine but our small minds stay the same

1700 CE
we can expand and begin again

1900 CE
faster than we can comprehend we change

2000 CE
across the world in a matter of hours growing and expanding faster than ever the beginning of a new era
not my best work but I've been thinking a lot lately
Dec 2016 · 613
less than myself
Buddy T Dec 2016
I wish I could be stronger than I really am
i feel silly, crying over these pointless things
I wish the voices in my head would let me be
I want someone to cry with me

is this world really mine?
could I belong somewhere else?
to be sad when the sun is out
a feeling of longing when nothing is gone

I wish for a color that does not exist
a place I have not seen
run away to a galaxy bigger than this
a meaning larger than life

I wish to find myself
to be more than I am
to know why my heart cries
I have lost my life to the stars
crying over meaningless things leads to poems with no thought
Dec 2016 · 334
Moment in Time
Buddy T Dec 2016
I sit next to you, in a car
the conversation stills
all is silent, but the radio in the back ground

I think over my years, with you
how our relation progressed
not romantic, but platonic

I wish for it to be romantic, but alas
I glance over at you
*but she's looking at you
a moment in time I wish I'd never forget
Dec 2016 · 1.6k
grab it
Buddy T Dec 2016
two girls in a movie theater
one glances over to the other
smile on her face, light in her eyes
she glances down to see her hand
should she grab it?
she does not grab it.
but what if she did?
what if I grabbed it?
Dec 2016 · 4.1k
The Sun Will Rise
Buddy T Dec 2016
Things will start
and things will end,
but the world will continue to turn.
For there's always spring after winter
and winter will come again.

And even as our days on earth shorten
and we love our loves no more.
The days on the calendar will continue to fall,
and we will move on
and we will continue to live.

And even when our laughs seem to stop time,
and this moment doesn't seem to end.
The clock on the wall will continue to tick.
And our hearts will continue to beat,
until death.

But it's funny!
Even after death
and birth
and love
and hate, all in our hearts,

the sun will continue to rise.
And the world will turn
and the stars will shine
and the seasons will change
and our child's play will never change our constants.
because even when things start and things end, the world will keep spinning and the sun will still rise
Nov 2016 · 436
Tsunami (part two)
Buddy T Nov 2016
A few days ago
the ground shook.
No damage happened,
I though I was fine.
I was wrong.

50 feet of water
50 feet of fear
50 feet of regret
50 feet of 'I should've done more'

She tricked me.
Calling me to come closer,
luring me into her trap.
I can't be mad though,
it's my fault I fell for her.

Maybe this is for the best.
Last few minutes of life
to cleanse me of sin,
to understand what I did wrong.

Thank you ma'am.
I'll make no attempt to escape.
I'll embrace you, west ocean.
Here where the moon is scarce
and the stars are dull.
part two of my last poem. what would be your last thoughts before you died?
Nov 2016 · 699
Tsunami (part one)
Buddy T Nov 2016
Late at night
when the moon is scarce
and the stars are dull,
the west ocean will softly,
so softly,
beckon you closer.
But please don't trust her,
for its a trap.
Once you're close enough,
she'll take you.
"As a tsunami approaches shorelines, water may recede from the coast, exposing the ocean floor, reefs and fish." -'What are the natural warning signs for a tsunami?' www.americangeosciences.org
Nov 2016 · 554
inconvenience
Buddy T Nov 2016
yesterday I saw
a man
drop a 20 dollar bill
after he walked
away
I saw another man
pick it up
a few minutes
later
I saw the same man
come running back
to search
for his 20 dollars
perhaps inconvenience
can cause convenience
and vice versa
a month ago I dropped my $10 on the ground and I couldn't find it. I was so upset I cried (because I'm a crybaby) because I was going to buy something with that. I bet someone had a great day.
Oct 2016 · 750
fake it
Buddy T Oct 2016
don't worry
I can fake it
I can fake my happiness
for your enjoyment
this Halloween will be different than the others. For the first time I'm not excited for Halloween, I'm sad
Oct 2016 · 2.6k
Regrets and 'What If's
Buddy T Oct 2016
empty 'what if's
and petty excuses
and looming regrets
'if only i had tried harder'
'if only i had the time'
'maybe, just maybe'
'i could have gotten you'
'maybe i wouldn't have failed you'
*if only
this is not what you think its about, but it still hurts and breaks me. I'm going to bed tonight with tears almost building up and guilt in my stomach. but remember that this is not what you think its about. believe me.
Oct 2016 · 237
just 4 more
Buddy T Oct 2016
four
more
words
until...
100 words!
Buddy T Oct 2016
is it love?
or just a petty crush?
will you still matter in 2 years?

I don't know but
I've had a lot of crushes
but you were different

is it because you're a girl?
because I used to hate you
or were you my first love?

I still want to write about you
I still think about you
I still hope I can see you again

will I write a book about you?
will I think about you in college?
will I still dream about you when I'm old?

but of course you're the reason why I joined a poetry site
under a pseudonym
to write anonymous poems

will I look back at this?
will I think "it was just a crush"?
will I still look at the sun and think of you?

all these questions
all these contradictions
they'll never be put to rest
random thoughts
Oct 2016 · 12.1k
One-sided
Buddy T Oct 2016
we're so close,
but you seem worlds away.
like the moon and the sun
so different yet the same.

you shine so brightly
i wish i could be like you.
big, bold, and brash
you look so nice with that pretty blue.

you are everything i am and more
so, go glimmer in all your glory!
it's both jealousy and envy really
you're everything i could be.

it all started off with
my one-sided rivalry
now it's just
my one-sided love story.
one-sided crushes ****, but one-sided crushes on other girls **** more
Oct 2016 · 3.0k
Moon and Earth
Buddy T Oct 2016
"We're drifting apart,"
said the earth to the moon.

"We've been through so much, hm?"
replied the moon to earth.
"It'll be glum to go,
but sadly I must now."

"Why? Please don't go away,"
begged the earth to the moon.
"I will miss you for sure."

"And I will too," said moon
and earth silently sobbed.

"4.5 billion years,
for what?" The earth whimpered.

"I can't love you anymore."

"If I could say the same."

"..."
"At present, the Moon gets 3.8 cm further away from Earth every year, and it was much closer to Earth in prehistoric times." -Jonathan O'Callaghan, 'Will the Moon ever leave Earth's orbit?' www.spaceanswers.com
Sep 2016 · 3.4k
Forget-me-not
Buddy T Sep 2016
Like the flowers, my pleads are so small
But together they'll make a whole field
Until they're heard

Forget-me-not
Forget-me-not
Forget-me-not, please

Blue like our skies
Blue like our dreams
Blue like the tears from our eyes,
and the blue of our jeans.

Forget-me-not
Forget-me-not
Forget-me-not
Forget-me-not, please

Will you forget me?
I won't forget you
Please remember me,
For I'll be gone soon.
For if we meet again then, please

Forget-me-not
Forget-me-not
Forget-me-not
Forget-me-not
F­orget-me-not, please
please don't forget me
Sep 2016 · 307
Untitled
Buddy T Sep 2016
if ‘Untitled’
is the title
of this poem
is it really untitled?
or just perceived to be?
dumb poem, wrote at like 2 am

— The End —