maybe i want you to find my notebooks someday
so that you can read all about my pain
that i kept stashed and stored and hidden
behind my pen and the countless ink stains on my hands
my pain that i wanted to speak to you about yet never could
so here are my last words, they always didn't come so easy to write
i grew restless, exhausted, and i just wanted you to look into my eyes
instead i held base, behind these scribbled lines