I am weak
And when they ask me
What has made you this way?
I will only whisper your name
Your smiles
Laughs
Eyes
And arms
Have made me weak
I long to hold your hand within mine
And to caress your hair under my fingertips
To see your smile brilliantly flash in my direction
And to feel your breath intertwine with me
Our hearts beating in synchronization
You have made me weak
I used to stand strong
On my own
Indestructible
I left you
In an act of defiance against my own heart
To prove to my own self
That I would not be a fool again
I would heed the warnings
And listen
But
I am broken
The hand that would hold yours
Aches painfully
My fingertips bleed
With my carelessness
My smile has disappeared
My breath is stuck in my throat
Choking on words I want to say
My heart is shattered
By my own hand
That wields a dagger
Carved from my own bone
Every ounce of strength I possess
Is used to stay away from you
You have taken so much from me
My happiness
My strength
My appetite
My peace
My future
My soul
I walk around my own home like a ghost
Haunting the walls
A shell of the woman I used to be
Only occupied by a pathetic creature
One that only takes up space
One that only ignores what is painfully obvious
And one that can’t seem to let you go
What am I doing?
Why can’t I let you go?
My hair is falling out
My skin is losing its color
My smile is losing its brilliance
My laughter is forced
Why have you made me this way?
I need you
And you have made me too weak to get you