I think about what would happen,
If someone could read my mind.
What if she could hear my thoughts?
Would she love me
Because I think of her so much?
Or would she be disgusted?
At how many times I sing her name in my head,
Because I like the way it sounds?

Would she smile at how beautiful I think she is,
Or find it repulsive,
That I can remember every detail of her face?

I tell her she's cute,
But if she knew how many times I've wanted to say she was,
But didn't,
Would she want to know?
And if she knew how many times I've written
"I love you"
In a text,
Just to erase it,
Would she say it back?
Or would she want to get away from me?

If she knew how depressed I feel,
How bad I can get.
With my past that I've hidden from everyone.
If she knew I hid my agonizing depression from her,
So I don't have her either worrying
Or hating my guts,
Because I should just, "Get over it."
Would she still want to see me?
I hide it from her,
So that I can focus on making her happy,
But is her not knowing
Still doing
What it's supposed to be?

Half of the things I think in my head
I can never put into words,
With my overactive anxiety.
So if she was able to read
Would it make a difference?
Would knowing the happiness
I feel whenever I see her,
Make her feel the same?
Or should I hang my head in shame?
Would knowing that I hide my overactive brain,
So I can share happiness with her,
So someone around her
Isn't depressing
Would she be happy in knowing I care?