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May 2016
With hate increased,
My whole decreases
I can't forget, both of us once existed
Now, into a body too small for my big dreams, I'm condensed

In this empty room of mine
Telling myself repeatedly "I'm fine"
Moving silently, invisibly
In an endless mystery
Here comes the tears I cried from
agony

It feels like I am the only one who live with this tragedy
It feels like they're all looking, but I don't want them to see
The inside of me
How am i suppose to be everything they except me to be

Like me , they are not able to abide
I wish that I didn't have to hide
Please come back, I need you by my side
You're the only one who can hear what i really want to say
So inside, days after days,
It stays
I don't know why it happened, why it had to be this way

It haunts me when I think of how it could have been,
When i'm questioning why this happened, what could this possibly mean
This is the questions that I ask
To live away from you is my task
But this is an impossible feat,
My life without you is incomplete
I feel like everyday that passes, I become increasingly erased
I cannot be related
Again, my fears have to be covered

I want to meet myself with someone else's point of view
So my mind will be anew
Oh so desperately, for the look inside my eyes
That I can't disguise

I battle the demons inside, ever since I were five
Keeping them alive
Do they really need to survive?
With incertitude, I ran away from all the pain
shattered soul I have obtain
Oh, so ******, it was clearly impregnated into my brain
Obviously stuck in my head
Am I just trying to prove that i'm not already dead?

I am so deep in my thoughts , i could die drowned by them
Anyway, I am nothing else than a name
Yes, truth just being told,
But I am not that bold
Look in the somber tones
Of these ghastly wounds
I am like you, a listening ear
Turning into rain of tears

If darkness is where I belong
Then why am I afraid?
If this is what I've become
Then what was the choice I made?

A chain links us together, but it's a little broken by the distance between us, and nobody seems to care
Who cares when a thought doth enter?
When I have all, except the power?
I can't dispel the intruder
I am all, except the master

I'm just scared that I might fail, afraid of trying
Instead of standing, I am waiting
I'm stuck in the memory of the past and now i'm screaming
The fear tries to swallow my soul, my tiny acid tears are dripping
Too much dominos behind me are falling
The only thing I can do now is counting the hours that doesn't have an end,
Wondering if the breaks will ever mend

The pain that you has seen in my eyes is now bigger in my heart
But it consoles me that you had a new start
And even if i'm always reflecting the past that I will probably never recover
So the pain that i feel because we cant be together
Even if the reflection of the past is here, Im so glad to hear you confide, however
Even if the past is just a reflection, don't forget that you can tell me
whatever
And i'll always love you the same Wherever,
Forever
Jennifer Buzzell
Written by
Jennifer Buzzell  Sherbrooke
(Sherbrooke)   
797
     Kay, --- and Jennifer Buzzell
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