it won't stop.
nothing will slow down
i ask for everything to just hang on, hold on a moment
please can you wait
just for a second

nothing ever does

so i pick
pick pick pick
pick pick pick pick pick pick
constantly
over and over and over over and over and over
and over
when that no longer satisfies the compulsion i bite down
longer, harder
until i taste blood

until it's over

at least, for now.

the blood pools at my fingertips
little red wells of humiliation

the pieces of skin collect at my feet
like a scattering of shame
a signpost of the turmoil i cannot contain

the girls around me look me up and down
whisper words of contempt and disgust

"freak"

torn and bitten, i curl into fists

the teachers stare quietly
unable to pass judgement, but the pity smothers me

"disturbed"

the urges are quiet
sated, satisfied

it's done

at least, for now