I will no longer say
that I miss you at night
when my name is written  on pages
you will never read again.

Alone
astray
wandering  in the fog you brought in my mind
a thick mist covering my soul
suffocating.
Lost again
frantically I'll walk
until my heart will stop
stop loving you
stop wishing your road will be one day
the same as mine.

I will no longer say that I need you
in darkness to be my light

I'll drown in this black coffee
all the times I have watched the full moon
thinking of you,
every touch of your cutting hands
I will drown your pictures,
our mornings,
your perfectly painted eyes,
our sleepless nights,
the songs I'm listening on repeat
because I can find you only in their lines.

I will drown you whole.

I will no longer say that I want you
in winter to be my warmest coat.

I will no longer walk this road with no direction
I will no longer watch the moon
or listen to songs,
I will no longer write my name on unread pages.
And when my lungs will be filled
with the ocean I'll cry
I will drown myself
in the same coffee you hate
that I love.

Because I know,
walking any road without you
can only lead me
to my end.

I will no longer breathe
without your love around.