How am I supposed to feel,
when the woman who has been strong for me my entire life,
has tears flowing down her cheeks?
How am I supposed to feel,
when my friends who live easy going lives,
tell me they know what I'm going through?
How am I supposed to feel,
when my mind is in denial,
even though the proof is in her slur?
How am I supposed to feel,
when I cannot allow myself to cry,
because I have to act the role of parent?
Tell me, how am I supposed to feel,
when my father tells me not to tell,
as if keeping it a secret will keep me sane?
How am I supposed to keep myself together,
when the world continues to fall apart,
and repair itself,
over and over and over again.
How am I supposed to feel when the one i love the most cannot love themselves?
Let me tell you,
I
  am
       falling
                  apart.
And this time, I don't want to get back up.