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Dec 2015
You opened your mouth and let me in. For the first time, you let me in. You never cared, you never will, you’ll never know how to. I tried to force it, I tried to make it, and you never wanted it.


In her mind, things were flying
Chairs, plates, pillows and knives
Every argument turned violence when our pages didn’t match
The screaming and yelling with nothing shouted back
Eyes rolling, no acknowledgement
She blew up and he never batted an eye

He said, “I can’t even love myself, how could I love you?”
And she looked into the street they were walking into
Deserted, dark, dull, as empty as the hope for this love
The concrete making a soft landing for the fall
“I just never cared the way I should have,” he said
Such a cold fear she thought, that he never could

She used to see a fire in every fight she spat
When he’d just stare blank at the wall, nothing in mind
“Chill out” the only words he’d say when she got heated
She would feel the flames growing in her mind
The knives would fly, and the plates would shatter
Like her words and all hope for this love


We walked that neighborhood in its entirety, as we almost did with writing our story. Some things may just never have an ending, and I guess I’ll have to be okay with that.


I’m black and you’re white
You may think I’m following your shadow,
But there is no grey area
I’m too dark and you’re too light


No matter how much I want it to, this story will always be open for any ending, good or bad, and we’ll never know for sure if we could have made it. No matter how much I’d like it to, this story of ours will never sell written and left open.


She loved him with everything she had to love with
A broken heart, spirit and with all of her missing pieces
She projected her past demons onto what could have been her angel
She took his wings and thought she burned them
He smiled at her when she said she was sorry
“It’s not too late to say sorry.” he joked, “But you shouldn’t be.”

“I never cared enough to get hurt by you”
He didn’t hold back, “I could have told you to go to hell”
“I didn’t need to talk to you again, I was done.”
She began to hold on to his past tense use of his sharp words
But she shortly began to see that he would always be out of her reach
She could wait forever and he’d never want her heart

Lying next to him she felt like she was with her own love
The love she had to give was holding her, not his hands
The fire of anger, and the sharp objects flying felt so far away
Not the same her that she used to be with him but he didn’t believe
He felt so close and so far lying beneath her
She wanted to hold on, but she knew there was nothing to hold on to


The harder I tried, the further you pulled away. So after you said all that you said, I knew that I had to let go. I can’t try anymore. You’ll never want me the way I’ll always want you. I’ll never have you the way you’ll always have me.
Summer Michelle
Written by
Summer Michelle
692
 
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