I'm not sure what stops me
from emptying out
the pill bottles
I keep by my bed
and just letting everything go dark.

I'm not sure why
I want to see that darkness
either.

All I know is right now
in this moment
I'm trying as hard as I can
to hold on

and I know I'll make it
because I have up until now
and I know I'd probably fail anyway
but hell,
that doesn't mean I can't taste it.

And you,
I'm not sure exactly where you come in
considering I don't want to bother you
but I need to hear someone's
voice
and nobody is willing
to let me talk.

Maybe I'll just hold my breath
until I can't stay upright
any longer
and perhaps then
I won't be so bored,
or sad,
or ******,
or frankly
just angry,
empty,
and lonely.

I'm almost convinced my mind
isn't the only thing
wrong
with
me.

It can't be.