in first grade
i had my first crush
on a boy
who told me
that i was annoying
and to leave him alone

in second grade
i pretended to be a witch
and my friends
cast spells
and rode invisible brooms

in third grade
i lost a spelling bee
because i misspelled
the word cotton

in fourth grade
i started my first diet
because my sister
made fun of my baby fat

in fifth grade
i had to get an appendectomy
and when i came back
people remembered me
only because i was gone

in sixth grade
I started skipping lunch
to go to the library
and sit in the bathroom
and cry
until class started

in seventh grade
i pulled apart a shaving razor
and sliced the inside of my wrist
and hid the small line
with a bracelet
made of denim

in eighth grade
i cut all my hair off
with safety scissors
and i learned
that no one will date me
and that my lips will never be kissed

in the ninth grade
i smoked
and wrote
and stopped talking
because no one wanted
to know that i existed

and i don't
think i will make it
to tenth grade