Intoxicated, most of them
looking for empathy at the bottom of bottles and ends of cigarette filters.
Some, smiling a little wider laughing a little louder
Others more determined - blinded and stumbling, looking for someone to hold for the night

And friendships form over spilled secrets that would never leave sober lips and
for tonight,
we'll forget how forgotten we feel.

And you and your perfect words are close enough to seep into my skin.
And I say I'm fine and well,
But can't ignore how familiar this feels

I should be happy.

But the memories crack and bleed and I have to lock the gates,
burn the key
And protect what little I have left.

We were there, but not.
You were (are) iridescent
and spoke of pretty eyes and                           faraway planets
and your disbelief in
gods and bibles.

And I; afraidandrecklessandnaturally selfdestructive,
Allowed room for hope and lovely words and your smile.

You've crowded the place and its terrifying.