music to you
walking to you
laughter to you
pain to you
love to you
sadness to you
strength to you

.sometimes it hurts more than anything
.and my neck is stiff with the stress of missing you
.sometimes i turn on the playlist called "L"
.and let it play for hours, crying softly under the flow of the shower stream
.sometimes i just can't stop thinking of you
.and it makes my cold heart shrivel up and weep
.sometimes i hate you
.and then i hate my selfishness
.sometimes your death feels like it wasn't real
.and then i remember holding your mother at your funeral

always, it is for you
my life is a song dedicated to my best friend, my secret keeper, my partner in crime, my whole heart
and i cry still