With shaking hands and burning eyes I pour the last of the dark red wine into my glass.
I sit crossed legged on the floor in the middle of my empty living room contemplating what comes next.

I can get up and make dinner and maybe watch a movie like a normal person would.
Or I could continue to sit here facing the little bit of light coming through the window before the sun goes down.

I can't figure out why anyone would ever want someone like me... I guess it's a good thing no one actually does.
I can't figure out how anyone could tolerate someone like me... I guess it's a good thing no one does.

My hands shake with each sip I take and I'm pretty sure this is what they call a panic attack. My breathing begins to speed as my eyes water and I'm feeling nothing but numb and pain which doesn't make any sense.

They keep telling me I'll be okay.
They keep telling me I won't be alone forever.
But I'm terrified of being alone these days which is something new.
I'm terrified nothing will ever work out.

So until I get over my fears I'll be on my living room floor with empty bottles of wine alone.