I'm tired, but not physically exhausted.
My heart is racing, but I've done no physical exertion.
My stomach is in knots, but I am starving.

I want to leave my house, but I'm confined to my bed.
I want to take a shower, but I'd rather stay in filth.
I want to take my pills, but I see no point.

My thoughts are swimming, but I can't concentrate.
My eyes are filling with tears, but I don't wipe them away.
My skin feels flushed, but I'm burning up all over.

I didn't ask for any of this.
I don't know when it will overtake me.
I won't give into it.

I want to partake in life, but I just can't.


Please understand, even though I know you can't.