People don't seem to get how I feel at all and no matter how hard I try to explain it it's like continually walking into a wall
I tried telling them about when I see people outside and I get the urge to talk to them but it gets overruled by the bigger urge to hide
Or how I could feel like buying pizza or chocolate but then I remember I have to talk to the person behind the counter and I figure it's better to wait
I get excited about a party but when I have to go out of the door I always somehow end up staying at home, no wonder I never get any invitations anymore
If I see people I recognize on the street I tend to back off and run away if it is possible instead of just greet
I have to call doctor? Oh no! It doesn't matter, I tell myself, I don't really need to go
People usually don't understand my fear and just because it isn't visible to you doesn't mean it's not here
But I understand why they don't get me because who is so excited about being around people yet too afraid to actually be?