Laying in an abandoned car outside of my house.
Wondering and trying to figure out what everything is about.
It can't be that complicated, what if life is really simple?
You get up, you survive and you move forward little by little.
The trees are wet from the rain I brought down,
They're waving at me as the wind dries them out.
My heart ripped open and all that was poured was pure poison,
It's the venom I use to keep myself from being used,
I feel like I'm gonna relapse and fall in love with this dude,
But he's not right for me and I'm no good for him.
We'd only **** each other till the world ends.
I wish I could be normal but my mentality is so lost,
And everything I think of is almost always wrong.
People don't get me,
I'm sure my parents regret me,
I know I could keep going but my heart won't let me.
It's falling apart and it's getting even harder to pretend when no one will accept me.
Marijuana keeps me alright and I haven't had it in a week.
I tried to change for this boy who doesn't even like me.
I should've known better I don't like to be clean.
I want to be as influenced as possible till my blood turns green,
Like the **** like the money like all the finer things.
But that doesn't appeal to me in reality.
I just want someone who will Still love me after they've been mad at me.
Power and hopelessness fight in my mind.
And I can't seem to referee no matter how hard I try.
The rules are always broken and one of them always dies,
Hopelessness wins and I'm left here to wonder and figure out why.