i wonder what you were doing in your final days.
seems like best things are always taken away.
were you having fun or were you in pain?
i wish that nothing happened, i wished everything hadn't changed.
i know this day is the worst for your family.
i remember when i found out it hurt kayla and me.
i couldnt believe what she said and i didnt ever want to...
a year later without you and all we want is you.
you dont have to come back to earth but it'd be nice to know you're alright.
your soul is what i reach out to,
i always think about you i just wish i could communicate with light

so i could hear you when you speak,
and know whenever you heard mine.
the stars that shine and stay above my head,
i know that it's you when i look into the night,
call upon your name and let you know you're not alone.
some times i see your face and i never close my eyes.
i think i believe in fait but it's hard to really say 'cause of all the falling pains it's like an ocean of poisoned rain,
and i never learned how to swim above the surface so i could live,
so i fall miles to the bottom where all the darkness is..
and i look around for you to see if you're real,  
and i can never wash the emptiness that i feel...
i just hope there is a god and if there is i hope to god that you live at peace right now, i cant believe it's been a year and you had to leave right now...
at times i can hear something telling me it's okay,
answering my questions to you as if i were insane,
it's inside my head so i dont trust that it'd be you,
i could just be delusional and imagining the truth,
if you can see this you know,
my mind is not easily fooled,
but the one time i'm not ashamed to be stupid is the times i believe that i am in touch with you.