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Aug 2015
It is as unpleasant as a nail in a your tire
or getting burned by fire
it is sometimes better to think twice
like before stepping onto the lake's ice
it came at us full speed
& with no warning label first to read
it disgusted me in every way
a party favor I wished that hadn't shown up to play
it wasn't at all like the rest
unwillingly I was given insomnia to give a trial test
mistaken for something we assumed was STILL there
but instantly after letting go of the black swan
we knew something really odd started going on
the usual way was UNusually strong
still we shrugged it off like nothing was wrong
dancing, picture posing, shot taking & celebrating
...looking at that time now, **** what a first impression it was creating
a night oh so memorable
definitely did we make it extremely unforgettable
we attempted to call it a night & get some shut eye
wide awake hour after hour sleep never joined, only failed attempts to try
so questions we're asked, "WHAT THE **** DID WE DO?!"
this whole time they thought we already knew
thank goodness we only had that one
could you only imagine what any  more of it may have done??
.....Sadly though, it gained itself another follower & it didn't take much
that mind just couldn't control the urge & resist, got ****** into its clutch
while passing the time, since the sandman missed our eyes
in the stillness of the room...there was countless clicks & flashes of us trying to "SMIZE"
Top Model had nothing on how awesome we pose
SHOOOOOOT, we at this point, are do it yourself picture pros!!!

....Now after some months have gone by & it's the New Year
& I knew it...the time had come, something I had too fear
...following it had returned & continued
tagging along was a ****** ******* attitude
fighting & arguments began
I wanted it to stop, trying so hard to end it was my plan
nights of wet cheeks & swollen eyes, tears dripping
it seemed the further & further away defeating it was slipping
I knew after that night
Winning the battle wasn't near in sight
the ONE party favor that just continued having an endless after party going
it's break obsolete, it just kept on flowing
with unsuccessful outcomes every time I was offered to join in
I STILL REFUSED to just let this monster win
&..... ONE DAY.... with help from my best, it all came to an end
into the toilet & flushed was what we did recommend
it was finally disposed of & far away
....A year or two passed & people didn't stay

....Summertime, when troubles are being destroyed daily & forgotten
of those who treated us quite horribly rotten
road trips to enjoy, nights out dancing & drinking
not a care to bother with, at least that is what we were thinking
new favors had graced our presence in our new party scene
& for once, our company was drama less & far from mean
Thizz was the past feel good choice we'd chose
when along came Molly, she showed us how feeling GOOOOOD realllly goes
Well **** it girl, you weren't lying now were you??
You're a whole new experience that I could get used to
"I JUST WANT TO DANCE"
"OHH YESSS, COME ON, they're playing 'Bad Romance' "
at first I needed some good old fashion peer pressure
I was nervous, scared, & kind of unsure
But I was easy to convince
& so thankful for each & every experience
Very, Very glad it was a risk I didn't miss
there's just nothing that compares to this....
.....Well along came that wicked, wicked party animal
who hadn't changed at all
single now, with a new attitude & mind set
....I risked it & decided to put it all in & place my bet
"WINNER, WINNER CHICKEN DINNER"
..........months later, " Hmmmm, have you gotten thinner?"
Where our weight had gone
was all we were questioned on
pretty soon rumors began to spread
so much dumb **** was accused & said
Oh please, give me a ******* break
Soon they were smashed & proven all to be obviously FAKE
jealousy & nosey that's all
haters will always be hating but will never be my downfall

...We found ourselves, the ones that got lost & abused
broken down, scarred, voiceless & confused
We were only off our fates course
disoriented from a toxic source
Our souls found their center again &
it's only fueled with peace
With high hopes to keep it continuing to increase
peace is what we needed to be saved
no savior with his crucifix could've changed our souls that were slaved
Peace is all you need & it exists, just believe
don't be fooled or tricked by those who try to deceive
peace is all about respect, love  & unity
a positive sense of mentality
being an optimist is pretty ******* dope
....Never giving up & always having some kind of hope!!
Becky Littmann
Written by
Becky Littmann  32/F/california
(32/F/california)   
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