Why don't we pray
Until we're sick

Do we not love another
Until death

Why have I not sent a thought or found that which is bigger than me?

I smoke, cough, drink poison
I stay up all night
I bleed, I cry I love
Repeat
And still find it easy
To sleep

Why is it this amnesia?
Why am I fated to pretend?
Year after year
To find yourself alone, purpose unclear
Needs become beyond selfish
And wrecklessly bored
Without a healthy tinge of fear.

No son's head was clear
For Sunday mornings
We all found the time
When the towers fell

A new day comes, horizon clear
The poker master calls my hand
Another year, another wrinkle,
becoming wiser yet it feels like complacency

I guess I'm trying to say sorry
And thanks for the love I feel
And everything that I know is real

Nobody prays
Until self tragedy, all alone
Years of survival, carnal absorbtion
Will then just be like waking from a dream
And a voice unleashed cries " you left me"
"you forsake me to this suffering"
Or was it god, unfortunately?

So today I pray
God, universe?

Thankyou for giving me life, undeserving
Help me not hurt me

I'm tired of meeting god, unfortunately