"Loads of guys talk to Rhi" On a day such statements and possible insinuations don't **** me off they actually entertain me.
What do people think of me? What do they really see? Used to be a source of teenage paranoia Now I'm more intrigued
It's 6 am, After party at Mag's house! Everyone's sleepy Sun's coming up Smokers coming in and out from the balcony Sliding doors Dawn chorus Sat in the darkest corner On a wicker chair Tryin to go unseen Feelin I look a state Makeup has started to fade No longer hiding me No one in this room Would know though About that insecurity Had me Avoidin mirrors When out since the age of 15 That's a long time to not be able to face yourself
But now this young guys facing me I've sparked an interest you see Half cut Johny who I shared the car journey Back with has been spreading the word That I do carpentry And he's intrigued So he's crouched down beside me Eyes wide open, Probing me, testing my knowledge Rollin off his story of going off the rails And joining the army But how carpentry gives him some peace I smile, I listen, I speak Shake his hand As he introduces himself as Steve Asks if he's steppin on anyone's toes Cause he believes the Dj That's followed us back For the after party Is my boyfriend Cause we were talkin And he was stood next to me I laugh at how fast Assumptions are made In the dark It's kinda funny He feels awkward now Says it's nice to meet me Leaves Sigh of relief
Why do loads of guys talk to Rhi? The banter most probably
Hear Dj taking the Micky (Turns out to be his name ironically) As he walks back in Tryin to set up his sound system Steve says get some Scart leads We're cracking up I say something off the cuff, witty He Spuds me I'm a "bro" after all right
What do you do? I dance But you was stood behind me all night! Ha! No, just for a bit, I was watching what you was doin He starts telling me about beats per minute I ask him bout the Djing How I'm interested in doin it We Banter about how he'd teach me How I'd be his prodigy I think he means it
Says we got him in trouble with the club For changing up his set Cause we were goin in We were feelin it Asks me to guess where he's from I say You look mixed race But I bet your Cypriot Says he's Half Turk, half Greek That's why things didn't work out between Mummy and Daddy Chuckles softly
He's a Barber during the week Cut Rita Oras hair the other day Shows me the tweet He's likable, pretty sweet Says he's glad I'm there Cause he doesn't know anyone here And he'd have no one to talk to A shy dj Looks like Drake Kind of a giveaway His Nose is running I say what have you been sniffing Grinning teeth Smiles and shakes his head How can you say that To Someone you've just met?! You're cheeky! Asks if I smoke or do drugs When I reply no He jokingly asks to marry me I say where's the ring? He gets out his keys Puts it on my finger we laugh Who knew getting a wife would be that easy? Calm down sunshine! my games more stealthy
But I reiterate "loads of guys talk to Rhi"
What do they mean? I'm a guys girl Always have always will be If this night has confirmed anything It's that Certain females just don't warm to me Give them a compliment They're ******* me Make a joke They're ******* me Dance by one Accidentally knock her phone Out her hand she sits down immediately Face of thunder I Say sorry, Skulk off awkwardly Beat myself up about it momentarily Then get annoyed and think **** it Head back to where I'm meant to be Just the dance floor and me Where I get smiles and laughs and looks I can't quite decipher "White gyal skanker!" Mutter out apologies as I stand on Some guys toes Tells me no worries I'm a dancer
Hell I'm a flirt too! I speak to guys cause it's what I know how to do It's easy conversation It's fun But I know that when this nights over it's all said and done No need to mention I have no true intention Of speaking to or seeing these people again Maybe I should Maybe that's how I'll make connections But for now I'm tired but it's a good tired I feel at peace There's something wonderfully dreamy About the after party People slowly waking up from the make believe of the night As they're fighting off sleep DJ Micky making his way out the door Shoutin back Make sure you message me!
I won't
For now It's time to head home I take my leave As I exit Wave bye to Steve
Thinkin Why is it guys talk to me?
For the same reasons anyone would really I listen I guess maybe I put them at ease
5/08/15
Just a little something I finished off from man shaped musings on my last night out. It was sparked off by a comment,possibly even a compliment that kept being thrown around by the older bunch of old skool ravers I had been hangin out with who didn't know me very well. The first people I've ever partied with during a time where I was probably learning a few things about myself